Snuggies are bad...

...but I think I have stumbled across something that takes you to far greater places on the scale of cringe-related body movements.

Before we move into this fantastic new product, we should all have a quick refresher course in everything that is snuggie:



Before I get sidetracked about everything impractical about the snuggie (they're only good for when you're sitting on a warm seat, after all it's only a blanket, albeit with sleeves) I thought I should introduce you to the Pouch, aka the 'onesie.'

I found an ad for the onesie in a magazine I was reading when I was relaxing on the toilet two weekends ago (you may think it inappropriate that I should mention this, however I find the connection irresistible; read: Onesies are shit).

Here is the ad, please click on it for enlargement so that you can enjoy it all, in full. Be aware that it is not just limited to the ridiculous suits, the advertising pitch is brilliant, complete with horrendous grammar.

I think my favourite part is the What are the best ways to enjoy your Pouch? section. I have never been on the sidelines of a ballet class, but I have been hungover. I have also been a kid who has needed warmth whilst sleeping. In both these cases, the blankets on my bed have sufficed.

Aren't your feet cold?

Clearly, there is some cool leopard print / honeycomb camouflage onesie available, but according to their print ad, I'm only offered semi-cool colours like Purple Haze, Rocking Red and Chocalicious Brown. I want my honeycomb cammo should I feel the need to become hard to see in an environment that, most probably, doesn't exist. Or I might even like to play cards in front of a tent, I'm undecided.

I think I will have to call one of the cool sales staff who, I'm told, will gladly help.

Whilst I'm on hold to an Indian call centre, I will leave you with this:



So what is cooler? A snuggie or a onesie?? And have you ever seen a baby in a jumpsuit and immediately thought I WANT ONE?

because the teletubbies weren't creepy enough